The Insanity of Flogging a Dead Horse!!

Living in the Past, causes us to Endure the Present, Dreading the Future.. a Recipe for Disaster….Pure Insanity..

tierneytherapy

10/26/2021 3 min read

Living in the Past, causes us to Endure the Present, Dreading the Future.. a Recipe for Disaster….Pure Insanity..

Across my therapy practice, blogs and vlogs, I attempt to reinforce the concept that we are spiritual immortal beings in theses physical mortal bodies, with immortal lives of 24 hours at a time. with our past being our history, our future a mystery, all we have is today, these 24 hours in front of us. here is where we are meant to be, The Power of Now and all that, this is the secret to life.

I can tell you this ,others can tell you this, subconsciously you can know the truth of this, but until you experience the reality of this for yourself, you will unwittingly continue to, tirelessly, flog your our dead horse.

This simple practice that I am about to share with you, will clearly show you the insanity you are experiencing, is from attempting to process the past in the present, through ,therapy, journaling, hospitalization, medication and group and any other modules you have been introduced to.

In this moment reflect of the life you want a future aspect of you to have.

Pick the new you in, say, 5 years. What do you want that life to be life?

grab an A4 sheet of paper and a pen

At the top of the page write your name including your age+5 years

[today being 60, it would read 65 year old Richard]

picture the life you would want this aspect to be living in 5 years

Include his:

Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual wellbeing & Appearance; Financially solvent; Family and Friends; Home & Security; Work, Income and Pension; Leisure activities; Joy, Hope and Purpose; especially Freedom from your Pain and Suffering; Freedom from your Nightmares and Flashbacks; Freedom from your Shame, Guilt and Resentments; Freedom from Victimhood & Martyrdom; anything else you can think of.

when you have completed this profile, know this is your goal in life.

Now write a command that you are suffering your life so that they are free to have their life that you are creating for them. Most importantly, affirm you are not asking them, nor do your require them to suffer your troubles for you. They are to let go of your burden, you will manage that on your own, and their job is to Live a Life of Joy, Hope Purpose and Adventure for You!

Now take another A4 page and at the top write your name and age today

On this page, All of Your Life Living Today. do not include the past or future .As if with a blank sheet, as though you had lost your memory, write a profile of who you are today, the life in front of you, work, support, the people in your life, parents and grandparents no longer living, living on a different continent, not only another country, siblings living in home country, your goals and dreams and aspirations.

Finally, look back into your past and this profile is for the past aspect of you who suffered the trauma event.

At the top of the page write their age and name.[young 12 year old Richard] Your younger aspect might not have been a child, it might have been the victim of a confrontation of an abusive relationship of something altogether different. Whatever the case, the goal is to identify this person as not being you.

Start off my writing about this aspect of you as they were before the event:

Happy childhood, loving parents/grandparents, close to siblings, lots of pals, provided for, lived at home, always food on the table, holidays, vacations, didn’t want for anything, trusting, respectful, family church attendance, etc.. then the trauma event;

[ not using the event itself, rather a word to represent it for me-betrayed];

Causing shame, guilt, anger, confusion, disassociation, anxiety, undiagnosed PTS, depression, self abuse. etc..

Everyone’s story will be different, above is an example of my own story up to age 12.

Placing these 2 pages side by side, one clearly sees they cannot be the same persons. [as a 60 year old man, I cannot also be a 12 year old boy]

The burden I have been carrying around with me, suffering was never mine in the first place, but belongs to this your 12 year old Richard.

In as much as I don't want my 65 year old version of me to suffer my baggage of today, in the future, I can now see, the 12 year old version of me, never wanted me to suffer his journey in my lifetime. he didn’t even ask me to.

And the truth is, he suffered it and he persevered to the best of his abilities to get through his ordeal so I would be free to have a life of Joy Hope, Purpose and Adventure in my present, as a gift to him.

We have to learn to ‘stop flogging a dead horse’, that was never ours in the first place.

To give it back to its rightful owner in a safe and non-intrusive manner .

Finally, to live our lives, these 24 hours, with Joy, Hope, Purpose & Adventure for our younger past aspects of ourselves.